My Simulacra

I have decided that there is just too much work for me to do, and I have too many fans.

I considered cloning myself, but it turns out I don't know a whole lot about genetics, and it takes a real long time to grow a clone. My next thought was to create a magical simulacrum of myself. But magic if fickle... And that three by three rule could really have some serious backlash.

So I made the only logical decision. I made a digital copy of myself. So may I introduce you to my simulacrum. You can find him in the upper right hand corner of my blog.

He is currently hosted at Pandorabots.com. He is an AIML bot, which means his brain is a collection of XML files. I didn't want to start with a completely brain-dead simulacrum, so he has quite a bit of ALICE in him. Turns out though, that ALICE and I don't actually get along all that great. Our views on the world differ by quite a bit. In fact, last night I spent several hours ripping piece of the brain out that I didn't feel were important.

My hope is that eventually my little friend will be able to mimic me. I have been teaching it some of my speech patterns, and correcting it whenever it says something insanely stupid. But he can not learn if he does not talk. So I invite everyone to talk to him. If he starts saying stupid things, just please remember that he has half of a brain from ALICE, and the other half is from me.

If he gets confused, don't worry about it. Next time I talk to him he'll ask me about things that confuse him, and I'll explain it to him. You can try to explain it to him, but he tends to run most things by me before he actually remembers them (for example, if you tell him a joke, he won't start telling it to other people until he's told it to me first).

Am I the demise or the future of humanity?

In the not so distant future we will all have RFID chips implanted in us. They will be used in place of credit cards and ID. They will let hospitals know all about our previous medical history when we walk in the door. They will be an electronic key for all sorts of things.

In the past we have replaced joints and various other body parts with synthetic materials, but only if they are defective. In the future we will be able to have elective surgery to replace our parts and pieces with more reliable lower maintenance higher performance synthetic parts.

Our brains will be plugged into the internet, with little video screens behind our eyes. We will have data storage in our brains so that we can record things and remember them better.

We will become synthetic, bionic, electronic. And I'm all for it!

Hook me up. Let me listen to my mp3 collection without having to carry an iPod and headphones. I would love to check the internet to see what movies are playing, and please give me directions of how to get there using my built in GPS device, because I'm lost again. What was that person's name again? Oh I see in my digital Rolodex in my brain who they are. You want me to rearrange the furniture again dear? No problem, with these new joints and muscles I can move our couch with ease.

No, I'm serious. I do want that. Yes, I want to put circuits in my brain. Yes, I'm okay with having an RFID chip in my hand that I can use to buy stuff. I would love a built in GPS device.

But they tell me companies could track my spending habits. So, you mean Best Buy could track what sort of purchases I make, so that they can more accurately offer me the goods and services that I am likely to want? They already do that with my Best Buy club card, and my Safeway card, and my Fred Meyers card, and my Borders card, and my Hollywood Video card, and my Mr. Movies card, and my Lovers card, and my AAA card, and my... well you get the idea. And of course on the internet every site has it's own login and tracking (amazon, newegg, etc). And honestly, is it such a bad thing if they can track what I buy? I'm not ashamed of anything I buy. Sure, I don't want a lot of the things I buy to be known publicly, but why would they be?

This is the future we are going towards. Do I embrace it? Yes. Does it diminish humanity? Yes, no, maybe. So are people like me the sort that are going to be the future of humanity or the demise of humanity? I dunno. Hook me up and let's find out.